Meeting Lisa Nichols, Star of The Secret, on a Friday Night; Gifts of Love We Can Give to Our Children!

March 5th, 2010 by Jacqueline Green

Last night, as I gathered with my friends prior to the teleseminar conference I’m at, Lisa Nichols, star of The Secret, walked in. I had called her office earlier in the week to ask her to be on The Parenting Summit that starts in 2 weeks. She does amazing work with teens, and has her own personal success going fromstruggling single mom to the highly acclaimed and sought-after speaker that she is. It turns out that she is a surprise guest at our small conference, and so we’ll be seeing her all weekend.

For Valentine’s Day, I wrote a blog post about 14 gifts of love that we can give to our children. As I write this, in the lobby of the Marriott in San Francisco, overlooking the ocean, I know I am giving one of those gifts to my children. I am giving them the gift of a happy, fulfilled mom who does not need to live vicariously through her children. Instead I can applaud their successes, while cexperiencing my own.

The gift I’m giving my kids by doing the work I’m doing, is the gift of a happy, fulfilled mom. I don’t like leaving my family for even 4 days, but by doing so, when I return, I have that much more to offer them. To use Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, I am self-actualizing, and showing my kids that adulthood can be exciting and fulfilling, not just full of the mundane and the routine.

So getting back to Lisa Nichols, she said we’d talk more today about my request to have her on The Parenting Summit! I hope we can meet her requirements, and that she can find 45 minutes in her busy schedule. Success breeds success, and she is such an amazing powerhouse! All of us parents could learn from her work with over 210,000 teens, as well as with her own son.

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Drum Roll Please…. Soon The Parenting Summit - Middle School Edition Site Will Be Live!

February 26th, 2010 by Jacqueline Green

I’ve been having a great time working on the details for TheParentingSummit.com! The big picture has been in development since last fall, but booking the experts, finding the sponsors and getting the website up has taken a lot of time. Like parenting, going from gestation to launch is a big job!

Okay, I’ll admit it, much like parenting has taken way more work and skills than I thought it would, this project has been intense. Also like parenting, it has been immensely rewarding. We wouldn’t have it any other way once it is all done, right? Graduation is a magical time for parents, and the ceremony for TheParentingSummit.com is almost here!

If you want help for your parenting issues, and you have kids in the 10 to 14 year age group, you want to check out the experts and topics that will be covered in this 8 day event. I’ll be sending out an email to my list early next week with details, as well as posting more information.

In the meantime, feel free to leave comments about topics you want to hear more about, or suggestions for experts you’d like to have me interview. I will resume my monthly interview series soon, and so if the topic or expert isn’t in the summit lineup, I can interview them afterward.

Thanks for being part of the great parenting transformation!

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The Rich Benefits for Your Family of Working in a Business Together

February 19th, 2010 by Jacqueline Green

Are you one of the many people who operate one or more family businesses? If so, you have a wonderful tool for connecting more with your kids, while teaching them some of the life skills they need to learn. Many parents don’t involve their children near as much as they could, partly because they don’t see the many benefits.

I had the wonderful experience of growing up working on my parents’ farm. The experience was rich and rewarding, and has served me well. Your kids could experience similar benefits if you take them under your wing and involved them in your work.

Some of the major benefits:

  • Share the workload. Many parents feel overworked and have too much responsibility to relax with their family as much as they’d like. If your kids work with you, you will have more time to relax with them. As well, you will feel more supported and they’ll feel more like part of the team.
  • A chance to be part of building something bigger. I was very proud of the fact that I helped my parents build the farm into a bigger and better operation.
  • Teach them life skills. Work gives kids a chance to learn skills that they can use throughout their lives.
  • A major source of our self-esteem . Our ability to do things in the world is a major source of self-esteem. When so much else was not going well for me as a child, I was able to take major pride in my ability to drive a tractor and herd cattle. Without those sources of self-esteem, the other challenges I faced could have been too much. For my kids the skills they are learning include website design, and office and personal management. These skills are arguable much more useful skills for their future life than my ability to drive a tractor turned out to be for me nowadays! (I haven’t been on a tractor in over 2 decades!) Nevertheless, I gained a major sense of myself as someone who was competent, and that transferrable skill was immensely valuable.
  • Positive ways of keeping kids busy . Keeping busy does a lot to keep kids out of trouble. While it is true that many kids are overscheduled, many are also left with too much free, floating time, especially as they reach middle school and the teen years. Too much unproductive leisure time, such as hours on electronic games instead of creative leisure pursuits like reading or imaginative play can lead to many probelms. Responsibilities with your family business will help give your child a creative way to fill some of his or her free time.
  • Opportunities for meaningful parent-child interactions . As you work and spend time together, you will have many informal opportunities to interact. That is invaluable time for you.
  • Give your kids a glimpse into your world. Your children will see you in a new light when they understand better what you do. For me as a working mom, involving my kids has given them a deeper appreciation for what I am doing. Otherwise our work can take on a generic flavor and we lose the chance to share a big part of who we are with our kids.
  • Tax benefits. Eva Rosenberg, http://TaxMama.com, does a great job in outlining how parents can involve their kids in their business and get legitimate tax breaks for doing so.
  • Teach them the joy of working . Kids need the chance to see that work in and of itself can be pleasurable. I’ve seen my kids time and time again go from reluctant helpers to being proud of their achievements. If they didn’t get to work for us, they might avoid similar tasks as adults, because of not understanding that the job could be more pleasant to do than they first imagined.
  • Inspire them to create their own business . If your child grows up knowing how to start and run a business, it gives him or her many options over just finding a job.
  • Teach them more about money. You can talk to them about choices you are making in your life and business. If you are running a business on the side to make more money, explain that to your child. It is a huge benefit to them if they understand more about your family’s finances and the choices you make.

Things to watch for:

  • Giving your kids too much responsibility, too fast. Don’t give your kids too much responsibility too quickly. Keep the tasks in bite-sized pieces that are not overwhelming to do, nor confusing or hard to do right.
  • Leaving your child alone too much while working. Find ways to work near your child so that the experience is more pleasant for both of you. When my son helps me with my website, I either work at the desk next to him, catch up on some filing or putter in my office. That way I’m right there if he needs help, and he doesn’t feel stuck on his own working.
  • Overlooking small tasks. Many small, menial jobs can be pleasant for your child to do. My daughter loves to open up envelopes, which we get by the dozen almost daily. When she is given a huge stack of envelopes to open she takes on the job with relish, pride and joy!
  • Keep good records of their work. As I mentioned above, Eva Rosenberg discusses the tax implications of having family work in your business. She stresses the importance of keeping good records of the work your kids are doing for your business.

Another major benefit of involving your kids is the chance to build a legacy that they can be part of. If your child develops a passion for your business or even for business in general, you will have passed on a legacy for them. They won’t be starting from scratch because they will have learned valuable business skills either directly or from observing you in your business. Your business will become that much more meaningful to you when you see it as the opportunity to build a legacy for yourself and your children.

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14 Gifts of Love that You Give to Your Children

February 12th, 2010 by Jacqueline Green
  1. Love is committing ourselves to becoming better people for the sake of our children.
  2. Love is being patient with them and with ourselves as we slowly or quickly move towards making our intentions a reality.
  3. Love is getting up early to exercise, finding time at lunch or finding time in the evening because we know that we are a better parent and a happier, healthier person when we are fit and have those wonderful endorphins coursing through our veins!
  4. Love is cultivating our relationship with our partner if we have one, so that our children live in the overflow of our love.
  5. Love is treating ourselves as the CEO of our own life, including finding ways to be creative and continue to learn and grow so that we have lots to give our kids, and so that we can let our kids fly and have their own lives when they are ready.
  6. Love is asking for help from friends and family, or finding groups to join when parenting gets tough.
  7. Love is finding moments to be affectionate and just enjoy each others company.
  8. Love is finding ways to heal our wounds and deal with our issues so that we don’t pass them on to our kids.
  9. Love is limiting our kids media time so that they develop other interests that are more fulfilling and will make them happier in life.
  10. Love is making outside time and fitness part of our kids daily life, including getting out and being active with them even when we’d really like to watch tv, read a book or just putter at home.
  11. Love is seeing our child struggle with something and waiting to see if they can do it on their own in order to build confidence, instead of always doing it for them.
  12. Love is playing a game of Scrabble on Friday night because it is fun and a bonding experience.
  13. Love is planning for the future and looking after our finances so that we can provide for our kids.
  14. Love for our children is the biggest challenge and the best reward that we could ever imaging!
Our Love is Enough!

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The Parenting Summit, Oprah’s Powerful Show and Kellie Frazier’s Response

February 10th, 2010 by Jacqueline Green

I’ve been very busy putting together details for The Parenting Summit! I have expert authors  lined up such as Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks (http://Hendricks.com ) and Jennifer Kolari (http://connectedparenting.com )I have experts on blended families (Shirley Dudley), Internet and personal safety (Kelly Rudolph http://PositiveWomenRock.com ) and spiritual parenting (Kellie Frazier http://kelliefrazier.com ).

I wanted to take a minute to comment about Kellie Frazier’s powerful article in response to Oprah’s recent show on child abuse. (Check out the full article on her site: http://kelliefrazier.com ) Oprah had the courage to feature child molesters in an attempt to teach parents how to keep their kids safe. Her show is gripping, and should be compulsory viewing for parents.

Unfortunately, many parents who most need to hear this are too busy and are convinced that their family is immune. Unfortunately, many dual-income families, including professionals, are too busy to notice that there kids are needy and in danger. I know this because I was one of those teens who was looking for validation and love. I know the truth of Oprah’s words that abuse changes who we are. Yet my parents are upstanding members of the city I grew up in and have 6 degrees between us. Educated parents does not guarantee anything, nor does income or neighborhood.

Check out the show Oprah did, Kellie Frazier’s blog and leave comments here. I also love that Kellie added that most parents don’t know how to connect with their kids. I know that to be true, and yet a connected family is one of the highest gifts that we can give ourselves. If your child gets abused now because you were oblivious, you will pay heavily. The fact that you are reading this blog suggests that you are not liable to be one of those parents, because you clearly want to connect with your family.

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