I’m working on a major new parenting show for the fall, called the Great Parenting Show. One of the first experts I contacted was Dr. Daniel Amen, because of his amazing work. He is a psychiatrist and physician, who has numerous popular books on the brain, and how to optimize this pivotal human organ. I have personally benefited tremendously from his work, as well as enjoyed sharing some of his tips to clients and on my blog. Tday I wanted to share an example of how powerful his work can be fore your child.
My daughter, like so many kids nowadays, has a tendency towards anxiety. Thanks to Dr. Amen’s powerful ANT (automatic negative thoughts) concept, I have been able to help her deal with her anxious thoughts quickly and easily. Every time I’m able to help her through a moment or a situation by using his ideas, I am deeply grateful for the years of pain that she is being spared.
Last night, as we were lying in bed talking before she went to sleep, Lauren wondered out loud if she was ready for her impending theatrical debut. I asked if she was feeling a bit anxious, and she agreed. I reminded her that ANTs, or automatic negative thoughts will tend to show up at these times.
We all know that when an ant shows up at a picnic, it is never just one ant. They call their friends and have a feast. Part of the genius of Amen’s analogy is the fact that automatic negative thoughts also tend to grow and multiply, just like that first ant at the picnic turns into a horde. Kids and adults find the description easy to grasp and remember.
We’ve discussed this idea so many times that all I had to say was that ANTs are common in this situation. With her fears normalized and understood, she went to calmly off to sleep. I imagine tonight she’ll have more ANTs show up because it is now the night before her debut. That means an even greater cause for excitement, some of which will manifest as anxiety, at least for awhile. However, she knows how to manage the ANTs, so she will be able to minimize the discomfort.
Most of my energy right now is going to booking great experts like Dr. Daniel Amen, so that more parents can easily help their children through these typical, but often tough moments. However, I wanted to take a moment out to write another post about Dr. Amen, and to say thank you to him for his transformational work.
I love that already at the tender age of 10, my daughter knows that she can ignore the thoughts that say that something awful is going to happen. She can choose what she wants to do in life based on what she loves, not what scares her. She loves to sing and dance (and does both beautifully, in my biased opinion) AND she has the normal stage fright that most people have. Many adults believe those thoughts so much so that fear of public speaking is the second highest fear, after death! What a gift that she doesn’t have to hide her gifts all her life because of believing those ANTs!
Thank you Dr. Amen. You are a wonderful human being, who I know had your own ANTs to deal with when you first started speaking on television about your powerful work. I’m grateful you got rid of your own ANTs so you could teach so many others how to get rid of theirs!
I love that ANT concept and how to deal with them. Thanks for sharing Dr. Amen’s work, Jacqueline! I definitely can apply it with my two boys.
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
July 22nd, 2010 at 10:18 am
I’m glad to hear that you can use the ANT concept with your two boys. It feels great to set our children up well to deal with all of life’s challenges, doesn’t it? Thanks for your comments.
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Jacqueline,
Thanks for sharing such an inspiring post. I LOVE Dr. Amen’s work, though I’ve only seen it through a number of wonderful PBS specials. I wish you the best in making your next show happen. You are definitely a mover and shaker!
Adam
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
July 24th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Thanks Adam! Dr. Amen is amazing, and is very dedicated to kids. His assistant has said he would love to be part of our Great Parenting Show, when his schedule will allow. Thanks for all your support!
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I love Dr. Amen’s work and have several of his books including this one. Thanks for sharing your real life example of putting it to use. Parents can really make a difference in thier kid’s lives today, and help them develop skills that will carry them into adulthood.
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
July 24th, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Thanks Selah for your comments. Dr. Amen is amazing. I love sharing his work with parents because they literally can prevent years of mental health issues, or suffering from fears and phobias. I’m glad you already have many of his books.
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I happened upon this site and want to thank you for all the great information. Dr. Amen is amazing. I saw him on a PBS special but haven’t read any of his books…yet. I am a Parent Coordinator in a public elementary school in the Bronx. We have many parent workshops and I’m sure I will be able to get some very interesting information from this site. Any suggestions for parenting skills and ANTS?
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
July 30th, 2010 at 10:17 am
Thanks Donna for your comments. If you want to know more about parenting and the ANTs concept, I suggest you go to Daniel Amen’s website (http://amenclinics.com). He has parenting courses and books for sale there. However, without reading his books or taking his classes, you could still teach the concept to the kids you work with. I recommend checking out some of his YouTube videos. He has a series on his book Change Your Brain, Change Your Life. One of them outlines his ANT concept.
I’ve found that just letting kids know that ANTs exist and that one ANT attracts more, is a very effective treatment. Kids love the way it inspires their imagination, and as soon as they are aware that they have automatic negative thoughts, they gain the power to choose more positive thoughts. It is a deceptively simple concept that your kids will benefit profoundly from learning.
Another relevant educators include Martin Seligman’s work in positive psychology. He too talks about changing our negative thoughts. His book The Optimistic Child is great for parents and educators.
I’m glad you found my website and I look forward to dialoguing with you! Let me know what you think after you pursue Amen’s work more, and/or Seligman’s.
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Jacqueline,
I found out about you through my Inner Kiddies emails from Pam Young and signed up for the webinar, I missed the Fly Lady but just finished listening to Hal Runkel and had to check out your website directly. You are a God-send!!! I’ve watched Dr. Amen on PBS and was truly impressed and now that I have your seal of approval on him I will be using his information as well. I just wanted to let you know that just the information that I’ve received from listening to one seminar has been life-transforming, not just life changing (my husband says if something changes it can change back, but transformation is permanent!). You will probably have my support forever!
Blessing,
Rebecca
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
September 3rd, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Thanks Rebecca for sharing! I adore Pam Young. Her Sidetracked Home Executive’s book is what started me on a path to organization and joy! I look forward to our interview.
It means A LOT to me to hear your feedback about the interview with Hal! I have picked mostly experts whose work has personally touched my life, as well as a few who I feel drawn to hearing more about. Dr. Amen is on my list, and hopefully will be on my spring edition of the show. He does have powerful work that has helped me and my family so much. I’m delighted to hear that you now can use his and Hal’s work in your life.
I love your distinction between transformation and change. I will use that one myself. I agree that change can be temporary, despite our best intentions. One of the values I see of listening to so many great experts is that it helps remind me and my listeners of the changes we still want for our family. Of course remembering all the great changes we’ve already made is equally important!
Great to meet you Rebecca and I look forward to many more interactions with you!
Blessing to you and your family,
Jacqueline
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Hi Jacqueline,
I enjoy Dr. Amen’s work. A few years ago, I reviewed his book, Make a Good Brain Great, and he offers thorough information and resources. I really like the ANTs analogy. What a great way to help ourselves and our kids understand the cycle of negative thoughts. I’ll be using this for my son, too! Thank you.
I write about parenting topics, so I’m very happy to have found you. Obviously, you’re providing valuable information.
Best,
Jennifer
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
September 4th, 2010 at 7:56 am
Thanks Jennifer for your comments. Yes, Dr. Amen does have write thorough and informative books. I’m glad you can use his ANTs concept with your son. It has saved my family years of suffering.
I noticed that your last post is about Motivational Radio. One of my friends, and mastermind partners, Kellie Frazier, has her own show with them. I look forward to reading your posts and hearing your show, if you have one too. It is a small world after all!
Best,
Jacqueline
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I battle the negative thoughts concept all the time with my children. Unfortunately, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if not checked early on. I love this ANTS concept and I’m going to implement this with my daughter right away. My daughter is a musician and works very hard for competitions and other achievements. Yet, no matter how much she has practiced, there is always the negative thought in the background waiting to strike, “Oh, I just can’t make it no matter what.” I’ll try this concept now’! Thanks!
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
November 10th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Glad you enjoyed the article Kathy. I find the ANTs concept very helpful too, with me and with my kids.
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