You want to be the best parent you can be. However, if you are buried in clutter, or blowing up at your kids, you can’t be your best. That’s why last week I kicked off the Great Parenting Show with interviews with Marla Cilley, the organizational expert better known as the FlyLady, and Hal Runkel, best-selling author of ScreamFree Parenting.
I didn’t expect to learn a lot for myself from Marla Cilley. I’m fairly organized, and thought our listeners would be the biggest benefactors from her wisdom. To my delight I picked up useful tips about our back-to-school routine as well as new inspiration to clear out the few areas that are cluttered in my life. I loved her 27 fling boogie idea for making decluttering fun for parents AND kids. Let me know if you catch her 48 hour free replay what you found helpful!
I also have learned a lot of techniques for staying scream free in my parenting. Nevertheless Hal Runkel was full of great tips that I will apply to my family. I’ve already apologized to my son for being too quick to respond to him when he swore the other day. Although I stand by my objection to him swearing (he’s 13 and he was angry at the time), I realized that had I pushed pause, I would have been calmer and gentler in my rebuke. He’s a great kid and he didn’t deserve or need the lecture he got from his dad and I. We were hot and needed to calm down first, as Hal so poignantly pointed out.
The common theme in both interviews is that parenting is about us growing up and becoming happier people with the challenges in our lives. When we focus on our kids, we lose our power to directly change and improve our family. Yes, our children often have to change too, but when we lead instead of push from behind, everyone is happier and the results are far more effective.
Let me know your thoughts on organizing, scream free parenting and other big issues for your family. If you haven’t already, sign up for the free series of 24 experts (click here). You may have missed the first free replay of Marla and Hal (there will be another chance to hear them later in the season!). The great news is you still have a chance to ask your top question of the next 22 parenting experts! Many of the top parenting experts in North America are still to come, so sign up and take advantage of this unique and powerful chance to transform your family for generations to come. The website is http://www.GreatParentingShow.com.
Share your comments below, and by all means, tell your friends! There has never been the chance to listen to such great parenting content for free, as well as ask your top question to each expert, before. Then kick back and choose the experts you most want to learn from over the 3 month free show.
I love the “pause” idea. I think we can apply that principle to every aspect of our personal and business lives. Taking a minute to stand back, pause and look at the big picture would serve us all well!!
Organization is another thing that can be applied to all aspects of our lives. Being organized in your business helps your work to flow. Being surrounded by clutter can effect your performance.
Great advice Jacqueline, thank you.
Wendy
Wendy Hewlett recently posted..Facebook Lists
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 7:43 pm
Thanks Wendy for sharing. I agree that both pausing and being organized are necessary in business and our personal lives. Great point!
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Hi Jacqueline,
We’re in the middle of a big declutter at home right now. A 3 storey house we’ve lived in for 10 years with 2 kids and it started to show. Well, it started to be just too messy in truth. And you’re so right. It’s actually stress inducing to be amid the rubble of daily life, toys and all sorts about the place. It’s at this point I should ‘fess up to not being the tidiest of people but I’m dealing that that. Top floor is done, and tomorrow we start the middle.
The pause button idea seems more doable than counting to 10. I had to get over shouting if for no other reason that I got sick of not only the sound of my own voice, but I reminded myself of my own parents, which wasn’t who I wanted to be.
I’m improving on that and whilst I can be a bit too blunt and direct at times, communication is becoming more meaningful as the children get older, which is great. Loads of other things going on, probably not for a blog comment though!
Thanks for your post. Going in to what could be a slightly stressful weekend in the Sayers household, it’s been a timely reminder.
Regards,
Andrew
Andrew Sayers recently posted..Get Your Mind in Gear
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 7:40 pm
I’m glad to hear that this post is setting you up well for the weekend. I appreciate the reminder myself! Hope your weekend goes smoothly! Thanks for posting Andrew.
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I love the Fly Lady and have subscribed to her cleaning plan. Although right now I’m in a NO FLY zone and need to get back on track. Her methods make cleaning a breeze.
I’m pretty luck that my teenagers don’t push my buttons that often, so not much screaming going on. Now my husband….? (just kidding.
Debbie Lattuga recently posted..Best Idea for Humanity
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 7:39 pm
Thanks Debbie for the post, and your sense of humor! Pass buttons are important for all relationships! I certainly had to find mine after getting married!
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This is so true! It’s almost taboo to advise someone to focus more on themselves to improve their family life but it really is a vital step … how can you be a good mom if you are too upset, frustrated or burned out!
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 7:42 pm
Indeed! Yet so often we believe we should put everyone else ahead of us. Thanks for the comments Tatiana!
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Hi Jacqueline,
How funny to see a reference to Fly Lady…I only just discovered her myself last week and here you are referring to her. Must be a good site….and great minds think alike
In any event, it certainly is a small world. I’ll certainly pay her more attention now that I’ve read your post. Thanks!
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The pause, its good to pause and reflect for a moment. It helps to bring clarity back to what can look like an overwhelming situation.
Stephen Covey has talked about the moment between stimulus and response. We all have a window of opportunity where we can actually determine our response if we choose to. But we need to be aware of this gap that does exist. It’s kind of like a pause and can help us keep from yelling at our kids.
Trevor recently posted..High-Tech- 16 Year Old Inventor
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
September 27th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
Thanks Trevor for your comments! Yes, we do have a window of opportunity where we can make a better choice than yelling at our kids. It is powerful once we as parents find that window!
Thanks for sharing!
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