I’ve been aware of parental controls that exist for the computer for some time. Because my kids are 10 and 12, I haven’t bothered yet to purchase any of them because I thought that the kids weren’t old enough to be an issue. However a conversation with a friend of mine the other day drove home the point that an ounce of prevention is priceless.
Imagine your horror if you discover that your teen has developed a pattern of going to porn sites? Unfortunately, as Norman Doidge explains in The Brain that Changes Itself , pornography can be highly addictive. Not only that, but the user tends to need harder and more twisted images to get the fix they want, which can lead to major sexual dysfunction. Doidge explains that many fetishes and perversions are created by the accidental discovery of a website that turns the user on. Many times the user had no fetish until they stumbled upon the site, and then finds that they are not turned on by "normal" images or sexual relations any more. This can mean that the user becomes unable to have normal sexual relations with their actual mate.
Many people have developed serious fetishes that interfere with their lives. I have a friend whose boyfriend wanted to marry her but he was a cross dresser and she wasn’t willing to go there. Our teens are just as susceptible to having their sexuality warped, perhaps more so than adults. Imagine a curious teen encountering a cross-dressing site and becoming fixated with that, when before the idea never occurred to him? Fetishes can be cured, as can porn-addiction but it is a hard path and not one parents would choose for their children.
Men looking at pictures of naked women is an old tradition. While many of us may question the value and morality behind that practice, with the Internet, pornography has taken a whole new twist. Teens are just as likely to encounter perversions on the net as naked women or couples having sex. While some variation in sexual preferences may be natural, none of us wants our children to grow up to find it difficult to have a healthy sex life.
If you know of good software or devices to recommend, leave a comment below. As Vanessa Van Petten, the teen parenting expert I interviewed in May said, if teens know that you are going to install software that monitors Internet use, they usually will self-monitor rather than have you see where they’ve been. I know it is somewhat costly and yet another thing to do for busy parents. When you compare the potential for your child developing twisted ideas of their sexuality versus a bit of prevention now, you’ll be grateful that options exist to keep your child safe.
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