As I read so many posts about what books to get dad, or what gadget, I’m struck by how superficial these gifts really are. Yes, he probably will appreciate a thoughtful object, whether a book he’d enjoy, or the latest electronic device. But how about giving him something that he can’t give himself?
Everyone craves recognition. This Father’s Day, along with whatever physical gift you give your father, or the father of your children, how about giving him the gift of specific words of appreciation. If you and your children take 10 minutes, or even 5, to write down a few of the specific things you value about the dads in your life, that will fill a deep need that they have to be recognized for what they do.
My husband and I are apart for the first time ever this Father’s Day. He’s down with our daughter at a swim meet and I’m hear with our son doing Rotary activities and so our son can do his activities. I am going to text him a list of 10 things that I appreciate that he does for me. I plan to find a few that he doesn’t expect, and that I haven’t complimented him on before, as well as the ones that I’ve said before. I know that he will be delighted to hear the same compliments over and over again, as well as the new ones.
What are 5 things that you appreciate about your dad? the father of your child? Even if you are separated, I encourage you to dig deep and find 5 things you appreciate about your child’s dad. The things we focus on expand, and so your gratitude for whatever the dads in your life are doing, is huge.
Even if you read this after Father’s Day,take a minute to:
- comment below to share how you plan to implement this idea, including the specific comments if you want
- post this on your Facebook, Twitter or other social media to share this with your friends. They will benefit for doing this brief exercise, as will the dads in their life!
I’ll start with listing 5 things I am going to tell my husband/the father of my children.
1. Your zany sense of humor.
2. The fact you do what it takes to look after your family, from unplugging toilets to showing suites late at night, and everything in between. I know we can depend on you because you are the type of man who is the last one standing (I’m teary-eyed now).
3. For loving your children enough to work things out with me when we both were sure the other one was impossible to live with.
4. You look great in a golf shirt and shorts, whether MEC shorts or more traditional ones!
5. You are cute first thing in the morning when you are still sleepy, a bit like a big teddy bear.
.-= Jacqueline Green´s last blog ..Father’s Day: Make it Memorable =-.
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Well, first let me thank you for p[posting this timely article.
My Dad has always been there for me. He’s now there to watch golf on TV with me and cheer our favorites on together. He’s there for my mom who is blind. He loves us all very much and he’s the only one I can call my “Dad”
.-= Bill Cowan´s last blog ..Anatomy of A Smile =-.
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
June 18th, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Thanks Bill! Sounds like your dad is a great guy.
Since writing 5 of the things I appreciate about my husband, more ideas keep popping into my head! Like the fact he is handy, and installed a sink in the garage so I can wash the dogs after a run. One of the dogs took a mud bath today, and I so appreciate not having to clean the bathtub! What we focus on does expand, and I look forward to a weekend of noticing all the little and big things I appreciate about my husband. I’ll do a list for my father as well.
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What a great post Jacqueline. It’s a great reminder of all the special men in our lives who have mentored us or given us hope. My husband is the kind of man who goes and gets whatever it is he needs or wants so it’s always tough for us to get him something in material goods. We’ve had to do as you’ve explained here in order to show him how we feel and it means more to him than any gift ever could. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with the world. You may change how many show appreciation this Father’s Day.
Kellie
.-= Kellie Frazier´s last blog ..Two Kinds of Leaders; The Honorably Disciplined Ones and The UnDisciplined Ones – Which Do You Want To Be? =-.
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Jacqueline,
What a wonderful suggestion, to take the time and list 5 things you appreciate about your father or your husband who is a father or even your son who is a father – or any important man in your life.
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
June 20th, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Thanks Erica! I found this to be a very meaningful exercise to do, so I’m glad to share it.
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Jacqueline, I love this post! Stores are full of superficial gifts for all holidays and what we really crave is appreciation. I made my dad a video of me talking to him and telling him what I appreciate about him and he said it was the best gift he could have gotten! Keep up the good work.
.-= Kelly Rudolph´s last blog ..See With More Than Just Your Eyes =-.
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What a great idea Jacqueline! As a dad, this really resonated with me.
.-= Kevin M.´s last blog ..Who can you run alongside of and cheer on today? =-.
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Thanks Kevin, I’m glad you liked the post.
Lesly, I appreciate the picture you painted of you and he visiting while he painted. I can imagine that the smell of oil paints brings back great memories. Thanks for sharing!
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Yes, dads have issues too with trying to be perfect, which ironically enough we are if we only relax and allow our perfection to shine through! Thanks Kevin for sharing.
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My dad was an artist. He painted some beautiful pictures. We would have long talks about art. And I LOVED the smell of oil paint in his studio when I visited .. special times …
.-= Lesly´s last blog ..Are You Brainwshing Yourself? =-.
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For me (as a father) the best gift is receiving a phone call or e-mail from my grown children. I have a massive selection of ugly ties from previous years – let me know if you would like some to give to your father (free except for shipping and handling!)
Thanks for the post, Jacqueline – you’re right on!
Alan
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
June 23rd, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Too funny Alan! I will pass on the ties though as my dad quit wearing them years ago, and I don’t want my husband to wear any ugly ties!
Thanks for sharing about the best gift for you. I think many dads and moms feel the same about getting a call or email from their kids. I hope you were well-contacted on Father’s Day!
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His ability to stay calm and cynical when the world is falling apart
His dry sense of humor that totally drove me nuts as a child
His unquestioning dedication to his family
His logic and
His pragmatic approach to even the silliest of things
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
June 25th, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Thanks Nicole for sharing your list. Your father sounds like a great man.
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Jacqueline – This post should be read by everyone to remind them of what is really important! Having and showing appreciation for each other should be on the top of all our lists! Thanks
.-= Glyna Humm´s last blog ..Shiny New Objects Aren’t Always a Bad Thing! =-.
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
June 25th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
Thanks for sharing Glyna. You are right, gratitude is such a key part of a happy life.
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Hopefully your own father received a similar list (if he is still in your life) Your husband is not your father, but your childrens’ father. So often father’s day or mother’s day seems to be celebrated with spouses instead of parents. Where has the traditional family value gone? My husband and I operate a business which requires our presence daily, so that we cannot visit our children who live a considerable distance away. We received store bought cards with wonderful text, but a list such as you describe would have meant so much more. I remember the days when we as (adult)children visited my parents and grandparents to celebrate and share our lives. Sometimes it was not on the day itself, because both my parents and my inlaws deserved a visit, but we made the effort. I hope that adult children think of this next year.
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