Last night as we watched the grand finale of the kids’ musical, I was struck by how powerful this one event has been in their lives. The irony is that both kids wanted to bail in the days and hours leading up to the camp. They were nervous about singing, wondered if they’d like the other kids and could think of dozens of things they’d rather be doing. Fast forward two weeks to my 12-year old son saying over and over, "I’m going to miss everyone; I’m sorry it has to end." Both kids are looking forward to next year’s drama camp, wondering what musical will be picked and ready to take on larger parts.
At the start I wondered too if it was worth the push to get them to camp each day at 9, 6 days a week for 3 weeks. For the cost of both entries we could have done a lot of other things. Yet the experience was so rich in life lessons that I can’t think of a way that we could have spent our time or money better.
Lessons the kids learnt:
* Don’t prejudge an activity before you try it. I see many adults struggle with following through on commitments because at the moment, it is so common not to want to do whatever we committed to doing. On the morning of the first day, Sam vowed he’d never sign up for anything again. Now he can see how much he would have missed out if he didn’t follow through. The next time either he or his sister doesn’t want to do something they can remember how they felt 2 weeks ago and see that it is well worth following through to see if their feelings are off-base.
* Often being active is much more gratifying than lounging around. The kids didn’t get to sleep in, play on the computer or read much for that 2 week period, and yet they were incredibly happy.
Lessons I learnt or had reinforced by this drama camp:
* Many lifelong passions are discovered as a kid. It is way easier to try activities as a kid. For starters, I haven’t seen an adult drama camp advertised anytime recently. Also they have more free time than us in general.
* Kids activities have many side benefits that can easily be overlooked. This one drama camp has boosted both of my kids’ confidence levels. They know that they can try new things, even if they are scared. The icing on the cake is that they both discovered a passion that they can enjoy for life. If they, like me, didn’t get to try as a kid, chances are they probably would never even try it as an adult. Yet drama offers a powerful chance to play that many adults like myself could use more of in our lives.
* Helping my kids to find flow is one of the highest gifts that I can give them. Flow is the state where time stands still because we are so engrossed in what we are doing. Martin Seligman discusses the importance of flow in Authentic Happiness. Flow is a regenerative state where we can reconnect with our excitement to be alive.
* Time and money spent on helping the kids explore their interests pays a lasting dividend. Movies, computers and other more passive past-times are great in moderation, and if I need to choose between the two, I know which one will help them be happier, more resilient adults.
So the next time you head out to drive your kids to one of their seemingly endless activities, remember that you may be giving them the gift of flow, amongst other gifts, ones that will last a lifetime.
I’d love to hear your comments on where your kids have found their flow, whether on the hockey rink, biking or playing a musical instrument.
