The other day my librarian said, "You have to read this book!" and dashed off to the shelves to find it. I have a number of other great parenting books that I’m reading right now, but I couldn’t say no to that level of enthusiasm! So I stared to read Carl Honoré’s Under Pressure: Rescuing Childhood from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting , and quickly found myself agreeing with her.
In this thought-provoking book, Honoré covers issues from hovering parents who are pushing their kids into sports, higher achievement at schools and taking the fun out of childhood, to the early sexualization of our girls. On every subject he offers interesting insights and memorable examples, such as the father who wanted to encourage his kids in tennis, and helped them out by doping their opponents. Eventually, one of the opponents died a car accident caused by the drowsiness, and he was charged. His insights and examples give us a chance to reflect on our own choices and those of the parents around us.
He starts the book sharing a personal example of how he too got caught up in the pressure to push his kids to ensure success. His kindergartener is complimented on his art skills, so Honoré starts to think of how to capitalize on his giftedness. The snag in his plan comes when his son has no interest in art classes, and instead says to him, "Why do adults have to take over everything?" Honoré wakes up to the insanity of pushing his young son into art instead of letting his talent naturally unfold.
We can all relate to this scenario because without meaning to do harm, many of us can relate to hyper-parenting at some time or other. The roots of our current approach to parenting are examined, which can help us to sort out what we believe. Honoré also shares examples from all over the world which shows the prevalence of this problem, as well as how people are finding more sane ways to raise their children.
I want to share a few of the chapter titles because they are provocative and illustrative of the content.
• It’s the Adults, Stupid
• The Early Years: When Milestones Become Millstones
• Preschool: Play is a Child’s Work
• Extracurricular Activities: Ready, Set, Relax!
• Consumerism: Pester Power and the Walking, Talking, ATM
If you are concerned about how the climate you are raising your kids in is affecting your child and your parenting, pick up this book. You’ll get valuable insights on what type of toys to buy, the effect of technology on your kids and homework, to name a few other areas he covers. Along the way you’ll be reading with rapt attention because the subjects he covers are so important, relevant and well-covered.
