We all want to be the best parents possible, yet sometimes it is hard to find the time and energy to do what we feel we must do as parents. What if I told you there are two simple questions that have transformed parents’ lives, and can transform yours too, just by asking them? Sometimes help for parenting is hard work and requires a lot of discipline; these tips for parenting are fun and easy to apply, and amongst the most powerful tips I know of.
I love parenting education because there are so many great people out there focused on help for parenting so that we can all become the parents we want to be. Sometimes those tips are profound yet simple, like these two questions. I am deeply grateful to Melissa Greczy of GiftedIAm and Todd Herman, a mental coach to Professional and Olympic Athletesfor this weeks tips on parenting.
The two questions are:
1. Tell me one thing you did today that you are proud of.
2. Tell me one thing you are excited about for tomorrow.
By asking those before bedtime, not only do you get to hear what is going on in your child’s mind, but you are in effect, directing your child’s subconscious to think about these things. Imagine the thoughts and dreams your child will have after you ask those questions. Imagine how your child’s focus will change from what didn’t go right, to what is right in her world. Also instead of worrying about tomorrow, your child will be gently guided towards anticipating what the next day will bring.
Try this out for a few days and then comment on how this has changed your family’s life. I’ve included a copy of the two questions that you can print out and put on your wall for a reminder. I know how easy it is for me to have a great idea and then forget to implement it. Click here if you want to get the pdf. The Two Questions!
Share this with your friends and family. Everyone has time to ask two questions, if not nightly, then at least weekly. That tiny investment of time can shift your whole child, and family’s future.
Jacqueline,
Those questions are wonderful. So often, we look for what’s wrong, what’s not working, what we or the other person is disappointed about. How wonderful to ask “What did you do “today” that you are proud of?’ Even if it is a very small thing, just acknowledging it can change one’s state of mind. And then asking about what you are excited about for “tomorrow” gives hope and focuses the attention on better times tomorrow.
I will be asking those questions of my clients, especailly when they are feeling depressed and as if life is hopeless.
Erica
Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Sweet Love Lasts
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Jacqueline Green Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 7:44 pm
I’m glad to hear that you will be using these two questions on clients as well. They are very powerful! Thanks for your comments Erica!
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Jacqueline, I love your questions. Anything that will engage them in dialogue with their children is so important. I also suggest using positive leading questions at the end of the school day…so often I hear from parents that their children arrive home from school, they ask how their day was and are frustrated with the pat answer “Fine!”…This is especially true when they reach the pre-teen/teen years. After any event or time apart, I always greet my children with “Was it fun? What was the most exciting thing that happened?” or something to that effect…giving children dead end questions will most often receive dead end answers!
denny hagel recently posted..Flexibility is a Parent’s Best Tool
[Reply]
Jacqueline Green Reply:
February 7th, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Great suggestions Denny! Adults can deal with, “How was your day,” but kids often tune out. Even adults would appreciate your approach though because it shows more interest. Thanks for sharing!
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